yeah. yeah, struggling with this one.

writing has become such a chore.

it is strange thinking that something like writing can create such stress and makes me feel like i’m 14 again dragging my feet to unload the dishwasher.  a chore.  it shouldn’t be.

embarrassed to say so, BUT, i just recently watched Julie & Julia with my mom over this lovely christmas weekend and found myself feeling as though “blogging” gives everyone, and their mom (literally), a voice.  and how the hell do you get heard??  do i want to be heard??  do i care about getting comments and having a following?  or do i just want to write to write?  i could write to write in a notebook or on a napkin or on the side of a wall.  but, no, i chose here.  “never write anything down if you don’t want anyone to read it.”  there has got to be a kind of selfish side of any writer’s intentions.  especially when writing a blog.  a struggle that Julie Powell felt herself in the midst of her fiendish cooking and writing whirlwind.

here i try to create some sort of image of myself that may or may not be true to life.  i want to write the way I want to write.  and someday, in a perfect world, no one will criticize me for it.  that world doesn’t seem to be stumbling across my path anytime soon.  so, in the mean time, i’m just supposed to write.  practice.  and the more people that read, the more comfortable i get with more people reading.  now, it is just discipline.  that being the hardest lesson anyone will ever learn in his or her life, you know besides a lot of those other difficult and meaningful lessons.

oh yeah…..and organization.  this seems like a resolution…..about that time of year.  and, like much of the world, i make mental resolutions every, actually, every few months.  and pretty much none of which do i actually follow through with: discipline.  many many years ahead of me struggling with this one.  carry on.

happy holidays.

cheers:

DEMETRIA ESTATE ~ SANTA YNEZ VALLEY

CUVEE SANDRA PINOT NOIR.  period.  the. best. wine.

this is one of those wineries that makes you want to sell all of your belongings and buy a vineyard and start bottling your own wine.  does everyone have that dream??

this wine is out of this WORLD.  the smoothness is unparalleled.  there is just something that is a little different about this wine.  i have a lot of favorites and this one is just in a separate category.  it just feels real to the earth.  the wine has this sort of sediment in the bottle….maybe off putting to some, but learn to ride passed it and you will experience a wine dreams are made of.  i imagine drinking this out of short glass tumblers, outside in the breeze that floats the crisp white table cloth covering the short end table.  this red wine stains the cloth in overlapping circles and the breeze flows.  breathe sweet.  i don’t even imagine drinking this wine with any kind of food accompaniment.  totally and completely unnecessary.  just it.  snag a bottle someday.  i just wish good wine wasn’t so expensive.  BUT, it is.  see Bottle Shock….stat.